There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
