ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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