At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
