is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
