youre lurking in front of me
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
