for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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