HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Randomize
