Yo dont text me then not text me
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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