so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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