Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
