So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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