READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
