You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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