Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Boobs are out for the taking
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
