if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
