There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
