No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
