Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
