Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
