I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i think my mom watched the whole time
I met the friendliest cop last night
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
