You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I wear drunk well.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
