i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
