I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
