Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize
