You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
