Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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