His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
