SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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