I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
