i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
