Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
