he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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