You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
