you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
