So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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