Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
