Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
