I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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