Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
