She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Randomize
