my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
