I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
