i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
