I'm eating all of the evidence.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Still dying that you shit outside
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
