let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
