There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Randomize
