Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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