I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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