like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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