Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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