Pappa wants mamma naked
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
