Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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