just come out here and I will go home with you...
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
