you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
