No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
