Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize