i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
