my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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