I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
