margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
