i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Dicks are not precious.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
