She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
