Your mouth is God's brothel.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
