Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
COCAINE IS GR8
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
