i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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